long day/retroactive wish

I'm tired, I'm giving
up, I'm letting everything
go. I won't be
leaning on my own
understanding anymore, because my
own understanding is CRAP.
I am so confused
all of the time,
and I can't think
straight. So, I quit.

It seems like every
time I move onto
a different hemisphere, I
end up getting rid
of half my stuff.
Eventually I'll have NO
stuff left, and what
then? Relief? Panic? Maybe
someday I'll have a
home, a place to
be. I hope so.

I want to cry
again. Human emotion is
tough to deal with.
But it's necessary in
order to LIVE the
way He wanted me
to live. So, crying.

I made a wish
on the dandelion I
obliterated last week, that
for once, for five
minutes, I could be
normal. That's all I
want. To stop being
me and start being
normal, just for a
bit. It'll never happen.

A halfhearted smile is
all I can manage
now. The weight of
the world is pushing
me into the mattress,
and the blanket is
too hot for me.
So, I give up
on the bed, too.

Sleeping on the floor.