Things I am not allowed to be in our Star Wars RPG Tabletop - a Transcrip

Alan: (You can be a rodian, wookiee, trandoshan, twi’lek, human, gand, droid, or bothan)

Me: I want to be an ewok!

(you can’t be an ewok, They’re not a playable race. There’s no stats for them.)
I can be a wookiee though, right?
(yes)
Can I be a SMALL wookiee?
(yes)
So why can’t I be one of those but I’m an ewok? It’s the same thing.
(No it’s not.)
Can I be whatever Jar Jar is?
(A gungan? No.)
Why not?
(They’re not in the manual.)

I can be a droid though, right?
(yes)

Can I be a droid who was made by Gungans and who thinks he’s a gungan?
(No.)

How about a sentient cloud of midichlorians who ACTS like a gungan?

(No.)

How about a hypothetical cross between Jabba’s rancor and Jubnuk the gamorrean?
(What?)
IT’S CANON I TELL YOU.
(NO! You aren’t even being serious, you just want to be the ugliest thing you can think of!)
How about a wisecracking mynock?
(No.)
Whatever Yoda’s species is?
(I’m pretty sure Yoda was the only one of those.)
Okay, okay. How about…a long-necky kaminoan from Clone Wars?
(No.)
BUT she wears a wig and thinks she’s a human!
(NO.)
Luke Skywalker from an alternate dimension who is actually a sentient housecat named Meow Skywalker.
(No.)
And my sidekick is a bantha who supplies me with as much blue milk as I want.

(No.)
A Cerean with a huuuuuuge head, way bigger than Ki Adi Mundi.
(No.)

The heavy from TF2 who is inexplicably in the star wars universe.

(No.)

“What was that, Chewie? Kill them all? Heh heh, GOOD IDEA.”
(I said no!)

The R2 droid with a bad motivator from A New Hope-

(No.)
-and I’m fine until the end of the campaign when something bad happens to me-

(No.)
-and I sustain damage that makes me-
(NO.)
How about whatever the filter chick from Mass Effect is that you think is cute?
(Tali’Zorah is a quarian and not from the Star Wars universe, so you can’t be one. The closest thing from Star Wars is a Kel Dor.)

…Can I be one of those then?
(No! I told you, you can be a rodian, wookiee, trandoshan, twi’lek, human, gand, droid, or bothan! That’s it!)

I want to be a cat-person.
(Well, you can’t!)
I want to be a cantrosian. Or a cathar.
(…You can be a RODIAN, a HUMAN, a BOTHAN, a GAND-)

Aren’t bothans dog-based?
(I think they’re bipedal canines, yes.)
Then I want to be one of those, but I identify as a cat.
(No; that’s stupid.)
Aw, come on! Why does it matter?
(…FINE. I don’t care)
AWESOME

(Actually, I think they have canine AND feline traits, so that’s not so much of a stretch)
Oh. Well I don’t want to be that anymore.
(You know what? I don’t even want to PLAY anymore.)